


alone again

by waterbottlex



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Cheesy, Desperate, F/M, Millennium Falcon - Freeform, One Shot, Sad, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, baby ben solo mentioned, sad kylo tm, set after the last jedi before tros
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2020-09-26 00:36:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20380762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waterbottlex/pseuds/waterbottlex
Summary: after tlj, rey is a hero and kylo is the most powerful man in the galaxy. instead, they wish to be together.





	alone again

She smiled vaguely at the young X-wing pilot, who eagerly grabbed her friend, beaming excitedly. Returned a handshake from a captain while her thoughts strayed miles off course. Gave a small wave to a young boy, who swore Rey was the bravest hero ever, while her mind couldn’t be farther away.   
She finally got through the crowd of Resistance fighters and made her way up to her cramped quarters. As she walked down the old muddied hallway of the Millenium Falcon, now covered with hundreds of footsteps of soldiers, she spotted small details she hadn’t earlier. Small footsteps on the ceiling, from someone lifting up a young child. Tiny misshapen letters that sat near the bottom of the wall, spelling out “bɘN ჷoLo” and someone’s half-hearted attempt coat it over with white paint. Something inside her chest tightened.   
She walked into her tiny room and sat down on the floor. Her heart hurt and her mind was still miles away. Closing her eyes, she leaned against the wall. Tried to relax but instead felt pain. Felt intense loneliness. She was surrounded by people who loved her and cared for her, all of them would listen, but none would understand. Except… for him. The first person she’d poured her heart out to, had confessed her deepest fears, and who had listened and cared and understood. Because he’d felt it too. Understood the guilt, the fear, the pain, the heartache of being truly, genuinely, alone.   
She sat up again, closing her fists tightly, nails digging into her calloused palms. Squeezing her eyes shut to stop the flow of tears. Her fingers released and dragged across the floor, and she drew in a ragged breath. None of her daydreams, her childish, hopeful fantasies would ever come true. He was Supreme Leader. Had the whole galaxy, had everything. Anything. Why would he ever want to be with a scavenger? A nobody?

His gloved fingers flexed in and out as he looked into the endless vacuum of space, the marching of entire armies in his ears, the rumbles of machinery and incredibly powerful weapons below his boots. Large ships stood in every hanger, tall and proud, while officers with their crisp, clean uniforms walked in perfect synchronization.   
He had it now. Had it all. The whole galaxy was his. Every solar system, planet, moon. All his. Going after this was a life goal, strived after by a damaged, hopeless child who had nowhere else to go, nothing else to aim for, and now that he had it...   
He felt empty and broken. His mind quiet. No longer filled with the aching, tearing, painful chokehold of Snoke. He was free. Free will, free choice, free. He was the Supreme Leader. He had the galaxy, he had millions of people under his command, thousands of ships and soldiers. Had it all.  
But he would give it all away without a moment's hesitation if it meant Rey. Tough, fierce, confident, powerful, but also compassionate, caring, soft, understanding. If he could be with her none of this would matter. None of this even tried to compete with her worth.   
But she was with her family now. With the Resistance. People who loved and cared and she felt happy with. She deserved it all. She finally got it, right? Something she’d always wanted. There was no way she would give it up now. To be with him, of all people. Why would she, anyway? He was, after all just a monster. And who could ever love a monster?


End file.
